At the end of May, the mental health organization I volunteer for held its first fundraiser. I’ve been thinking about NAMI’s Celebrity Jeopardy since last year. When January started, we hit the road.
It felt like I had slept, eaten and breathed the event for six months. I was so stressed, but I also couldn’t tear myself away from work.
I was addicted, but loved what I was doing, despite the anxiety.
My husband didn’t understand. He worried about the long hours, insomnia and the occasional outburst. He said I had to take care of myself and I heard something in his voice that told me he was serious. I realized that I wasn’t practicing self-care. So I came up with five things I might do when I’m freaked out and heading towards a panic attack that could lead to depression.
- Binge watch your favorite TV shows. This is the first thing I do when I start to run out of gas. It’s comforting, I identify with the characters, I know what’s going to happen on the show and that relaxes me. It’s as easy to do as putting on a Band-Aid.
- Spend a day doing self-care activities. I had a massage, took long baths, journaled, and ate my favorite meals (lots of Chick-fil-A and gar roti from Vietnam). I tried to spend time outdoors but the mosquitoes were bad so I settled on my veranda which has several windows and is very colourful. It’s my happy place.
- Meditate or take deep breaths. I won’t lie, it’s hard for me to meditate without a guide app on my phone, and even then I have problems. But meditation is so good for you; helps you to be mindful, manage stress, reduce negative emotions and decrease anxiety. As far as deep breathing, I always like to do box breathing, where you inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and repeat. I’ve read that Navy SEALs use this technique.
- See a therapist or counselor. I know I spoke through my husband’s and mother’s ears about the fundraiser and realized they were getting tired of being a sounding board. So I took my issues to my therapist which is what I should do, and it felt so good to release all that negative energy. He let me vent but also helped me refocus on the good I was doing. I highly recommend therapy/counseling. If you don’t have a therapist, consult the family counseling service. It has wonderful therapists and a variety of programs.
- Say no. This is probably the most helpful self-care action you can take. Even the hardest to do. When I was working on the fundraiser, I didn’t say no at first. My Type A personality (actually, I’m Type B) took over and I wanted to be involved in everything. I soon burned out. After more therapy and self-care, I realized I had to step back and say no. As soon as I did that, I felt so much better. I was still involved in every aspect of fundraising, which probably annoyed the committee, but I delegated, communicated better, and said no when I needed to.
The fundraiser was a success and my mental health is still intact. I even take a two week break from work. I mean, I should take a break. It’s more like a breath. Yes, a breather. Maybe just a breath. I definitely don’t work 40 hour weeks like I used to.
And that’s one of the reasons I have to take care of myself so I can help others. So I can be a healthy and happy me. So I can be a good mom, wife, daughter, friend, etc.
Self-care is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.
For more than 20 years, Heather Loeb has suffered from severe depression, anxiety and personality disorder while also battling mental health stigma. She is the creator of Unruly Neurons (www.unrulyneurons.com), a blog dedicated to normalizing depression and a member of State Representative Todd Hunters’ suicide prevention task force.
The mind matters
Now more than ever we need to take care of our mental health. Guest columnist Heather Loeb discusses why and explores other important mental health topics in this special series.
#Dont #overload #Practice #selfcare
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